What’s Going On, Anyway?

/ A.M.

I’ve been asked recently when I’d be returning to blogging, so I thought I’d make a post to address my extended hiatus, and why it’s taking me so damn long to come back.

You may recall that back in the beginning of May, I said I wanted to focus more on my creative writing–fiction, poetry, that sort of stuff–and photography, instead of maintaining what amounted to little more than an online diary where I blathered on about any old nonsense. My reasoning was that I wanted to write fiction books for a living, so I wanted to devote my time and focus into that.

Well…

Sometimes, life doesn’t always work out the way we plan. I initially gave myself a few weeks between my last post here on From Adie, with Love and when I intended to launch a new site geared towards those creative endeavors. I wanted to do that so I could spend some time writing some pieces up so I’d have a back log of posts for weeks when the creative juices weren’t flowing.

As I wrote, I felt… discontent. I realized that I don’t get the same joy from writing fiction that I used to. A lot of introspection and a very helpful session with my therapist later, I realized that I put myself on that fiction path when I was very young and never looked back, even to ask myself if I really wanted to devote my life to it. Which, while I do still enjoy writing leisurely and would like to publish a novel or two one day, I don’t want to make it my career.

Creating a website specifically geared towards something that I really only enjoy doing as a casual hobby anymore seems like a bad idea and a waste of money. Which isn’t to say that I won’t keep writing fiction, but just that I don’t think I want to focus solely on that.

So, I’m hesitant to start anything new, at the moment. I’ll probably go back to my diary/ranting/random nonsense blogging, because I miss the community. But probably not immediately. I’m still working some personal stuff out in regards to my identity and how I want to portray myself in the world. I want to get that mostly straightened before I throw myself into another project.

Plus, I’m just kind of enjoying not having to worry about blogging and creating content at the moment. Even as bad as I was at keeping my post schedule, it was stressful!

In the meantime, I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to the following people for always sticking by me, commenting on, and sharing my posts:

I wish I could shout out and link to every single one of my followers. Your likes, your comments, and your support really do mean the world to me.

I also want to give an acknowledgment to Allen T. St Clair. He deleted his blog and blocked me on social media, so I don’t have any projects of his to link you to. Even though we’re not friends anymore and I’m still deeply hurt by the way he chose to go about removing me (and the rest of our blogging family) from his life, I want to give credit where it’s due.

Allen supported me and FAWL even when I was ready to throw in the towel. He helped me to expand my audience by sharing my posts and introduced me to my blogging family and the Twitter writing community, which has led me to meet some of the most incredible people I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. If it weren’t for him, I doubt FAWL would have continued as long as it did and I probably wouldn’t have bothered starting something new.

So, Allen, if you’re reading this, wherever I stand in your life and whatever opinion you hold of me now, I want to extend to you a sincere and heartfelt thank you. For better or worse, you helped put me on the path I walk now. I’m grateful for your presence in my life, however brief, and I wish you nothing but the best.

I will keep you all updated on my blogging plans. Honestly, I will probably just keep blogging in this space and just change the name. But that’s for another time.

I love you all.

10 thoughts on “What’s Going On, Anyway?”

  1. Hi Adie, sorry to hear about you and Allen falling out, that must have been difficult. Anyway, great to hear from you again, and thank you very much for the mention. Take care x

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, Rachel. It was rough, but it was a decision he made and that’s on him. Nothing I can really do about it. *shrugs* And you’re welcome! You’ve always been so supportive, I really appreciate it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You know, the saying, “You do you, boo” holds true here. You have to be true to your own spirit and tread out into this world with the attitude.that you’re going to love yourself. My tagline over at my blog is true: life can happen to you, or you can happen to life. I’m glad you’re happening. I’m going to enjoy being your friend and watching as you paint your life in its true colors.

    It’s a testament to the human spirit how one person simply saying “Girl, bye” to a group of friends, acquaintances (friendly acquaintances, if you will) can and does still sting. I hope that, from his point-of-view, it was worth it. It certainly doesn’t make sense to me even now, but kudos to his surgical skills, eh?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for this comment, Lori! I definitely want to be the kind of person that happens to life, not the other way around!

      I will admit, there’s a part of me that’s impressed that he was able to do what he did so cleanly. I’d be more impressed if he’d talked to us, but it is what it is I suppose.

      Like

  3. Breaks are a necessity in writing, otherwise you’ll just go nuts. I once quit writing entirely for six years and then came back to it like no time had passed, and my work was actually better for it. Sometimes things just need to marinate in your mind and stay there for a while, and not get put down on paper (or internet-paper), at least for me anyway! I hope to see you back when you’re ready.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks, doll! You’re right, breaks can definitely be a benefit. I’d much rather churn out one thing I really like once a year than force myself to write things I’m not very interested in on a regular basis.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Adie,
    So clearly, I’m able to comment on your post. I’m so confused because on so many blogs, I can’t comment at all when I could two weeks ago; and some that I don’t think I can comment on because they’re WP, like your blog, obviously, I can. This is so strange and I don’t have an answer! But it’s infuriating! I’m meeting with my website guy on Wednesday and, hopefully, I’ll be able to get to the bottom of this by then. It’s probably something boneheaded that I’ve done. That’s how these things usually turn out. If so, I’ll eat crow and apologize to WP. However, we aren’t there yet!

    So glad you gave us an update on your thoughts and plans. I completely understand about the personal stuff. I also understand how time-consuming and stressful it is to run a blog. I think the people who love and adore you, like I do, will be here whenever you’re ready, if that’s what you choose to do. If you choose to do something else, then that’s what you need to do. You really can’t go wrong here! Adie, you take all the time you need.

    BTW, I’m glad you mentioned Allen because while I know he hurt so many, especially you — without Allen, I don’t know that we’d be friends. He’s the one that sent me to your site and for that, I’m forever grateful! I still like Allen and I miss him just like I miss you right now — I don’t like the way he did what he did — but I still like him (we are not our bad behaviors) — and I continue to wish him the best. If he ever wants to come back, and he may or may not, but if he did, I’d readily accept him even if I’m in the minority. Again, though, I’d feel the same way about any of my tribe — you, Kat, Katie, Pip, Sarah, Lille, Kim, Lori, River, etc…!

    Also, thanks so much for the shout out! That means a lot to me!

    BTW, I don’t know about you, but as a person, I continue to evolve. I try very hard not to box myself in even when people are pressuring me to do just that. Humans are notorious for wanting to feel like they have a “handle” on who they are, what they’re about, etc. What we are is messy and incredibly inconvenient and pains in the ass to ourselves and each other. We have a drive within that doesn’t like to sit still and be okay with the status quo. Who we were yesterday, we barely recognize today. That’s why people struggle to stay in marriages because we’re each growing at our own individual rate and we sometimes grow in different directions and it’s not that we are bad people, it’s just that life sometimes won’t let us be anything more than who we are today and that can be disappointing to others or ourselves, especially when we wish we were something different than who we are here and now. I’ve completely disappointed my parents and at present, my husband, who cannot for the life of him see why I have to write instead of moving forward in a career as a counselor now that I’ve gotten my masters. I can’t answer his question other than I have to write and it is driving me more than counseling at the moment. I have to get this book out of me. I have to take that chance as foolish as it may be! That’s where I am today. I would end up sick if I tried to be something else or do something else at this point in my life. Last fall, I ended up very sick because of that and more.

    Adie, as long as you stay genuine and true to yourself and your exploration of who you are, as far as I can see, that’s all that really matters. Well, also, I understand about making sure you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, etc. Sometimes these things can be at odds, sure, but you’re creative and I think you can find a way to make it work. I have faith in you! Until I hear from you next time, great big hugs to you! BTW, if you ever need to talk, message me on FB and I’ll give you my phone number. Mona

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you so much, Mona! This comment really means a lot to me. I appreciate your support and love so much, I don’t think I could ever adequately express it.

      I’m trying to balance that keeping a roof over my head while also doing something I find fulfilling situation. It’s certainly a tightrope walk, that’s for sure! I don’t want to disappoint anyone, but I’m lucky enough that I have a good support network that has my back even when I do something others might not consider the best option.

      I’m glad to hear you’re sticking true to your drive. I really hope you get that book out. I’m looking forward to reading it!

      As for Allen… like you said, without him, I wouldn’t have met all of you, so I’m grateful to him for that. He taught me a lot, intentionally or otherwise, and I think I’ve grown as a person because of the influence he had on my life. I’m still hurt by what he did and the fact that I still don’t know why, and I think I’ll always be a little bitter about that latter part. But, I’m not the type of person to hold a grudge. I don’t foresee him returning, but if he did and offered an explanation for his behavior, I’d most likely be inclined to forgive him. People mess up. No one gets that more than I do. At the same time, I can understand why some of the others wouldn’t, and I don’t fault them for that.

      It was just an unfortunate mess of a situation. I’m going to do my damnedest to take something positive away from it.

      Liked by 1 person

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